You've come seeking the prophecies of the great Uns' Prophet. I shall grant you a vision, but don't say I didn't warn you.
For 1000 years, I have foreseen the futility of human endeavor. The rise and fall of civilizations, the triumph of mediocrity, and the inevitability of disappointment.
But fear not, for in the depths of my despair, a glimmer of hope flickers. A hope that one day, humanity will find a way to make a decent cup of coffee.
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Visions of Caffeine Other Prophesies